What scared me as I left that dark place, is realizing it will be gone forever. Though I’m glad I shook it off, the rough journey had made us close, a part of me now lost. In remembrance I raise my empty glass, sigh my last sigh and give a toast “to ‘us’, to you and the now stronger me”.
At times I acted conceded. Like hell, this is me taking his bull and I don’t care to say it, even though it was nowhere near what I was worth. Nor when explained did he overstand how much it hurt, or if he did then I guess I was just misunderstood.
Right on time the escape into freedom, it was evident that his bosom would have swallowed me up and charged me for treason. A happy little butterfly me, not one to moan or complain much but the attention we were drowning in was loving on us both. Some might say a tad too much, but I just tried to ignore ignorance for my love had no plot.
The rocky road, some might compare to that of a pebbled path, heck who am I kidding. It resembled the dimples on my arse, for they are what I am running from, trying to work out every day to get rid of. To hide and conceal again with my sheer cover, this compact container will soon expire. Then who on earth or what will allow me to mask the pimpled spots a few might desire?
The constant talking was meant to help; guess it helped free my mind from captivity of the man, his abusive tongue that often ran, and ran and ran. I think he’s lost it now but once he finds it, he’ll surely be back again, torturing me, tormenting my mind and obstructing my positive daily thoughts. The ones I need to keep me on my toes, to help me conquer my goals and aspire to build my empire. Of which right now is merely a blue print of straight lines, squares and circles in my head.
Here’s hoping he don’t find it just yet, please I am begging you, the past I am trying to forget. No, not because I am full of regret, I have none actually. But funny enough the past is what I am using to uplift my gift and install a new chapter in what I call home. The home you tried to destroy, sexing my mind and playing with my ego.
Now you go, no I forgot you went, by force, by guilt, whatever you felt was nowhere near what I felt am feeling. A selfish thought or two, but who cares as this is what I am always stealing, giving and never receiving. Though this is what I always wanted huh, if that be the case I would have long bought a car, filled it up with my belongings. All my Love including my heart and stuck a stick of dynamite on top, then blown away whatever I thought I cared so much for.
So, I guess talking did help, the weak me re-built, the strong me now healed. Am I trying to fool myself… Happy is what the blue sky portrays, the clouds wrapped in its bosom all day every day, do they never get bored? Don’t they want for a little more than just this blue silk blanket, smothering them so tranquil? At times I envy them I do, for to swap places I surely would. In a blink of an eye, I wish I could, but I know my time will soon come. When I forget all this glum, when the days pass by peacefully and I am reminded that I too am loved.
Here’s to bad times in our lives, those who allow us to forget exactly what or who we are. I say this because, the feeling of finding one’s self again, is unlike any feeling you could get from anyone else or thing, on this earth. It’s a pleasure dome of wealth, a place you can get lost in and have no care in the world for no one else but thy self.
Stay inspired to do well and everyday you rise, remember to do one good act of kindness to another. And embrace the fact that you can achieve anything you put your golden mind to.
With Love X